Yesterday, my daughter's school put on a pre-Purim* carnival. It was pretty much exactly the same as the one they put on last year and the year before (when she was in first grade and kindergarten). It is run by the high school students, in the elementary school building, and it's intended for the elementary plus preschool children. Lots of activities such as moon bounces, craft projects, a "haunted house," etc., and lots and lots of sugary treats. It's not a very spacious building, and the crowds and noise and pushing can be a lot. Add this to the fact that Israelis are far less into standing on line than people from English-speaking countries (and of course you don't want your kid being cut in line by a kid who doesn't believe in lines!), and it can be a mess. I knew I needed to bring my kids (ages 7, 5, and 2) to this carnival to avoid greatly disappointing them, but I also knew I was going to HATE it.
We got there, and sure enough, it was chaos. Arg. The kids were having fun, but I very much was not. To vent a little, I picked up my cell phone, and in one of the mommy Facebook groups I'm in, I posted, "I'm not the only one who hates these Purim carnivals, am I?" (For the record, I had quite a few people agree with me, including a couple who admitted that they hated not only the carnivals but Purim altogether.)
As soon as I posted it, I realized something was off. I felt sort of "grinchy," and I suddenly realized that pretty much any fun or exciting activity for the kids could be viewed through its downsides--you like taking the kids to the beach? Well, you won't if you focus on the sunburns and the sand that gets everywhere and all the gear you have to lug with you! You like taking the kids to Disney World? Well, try focusing on how long the lines are and how expensive everything is and see if that changes anything--and then what do you have left? Even taking kids to the playground, to be honest, can sometimes be super boring for the parent. I knew theoretically that everything had its pros and cons, but suddenly I could see it clearly. Hating Purim carnivals was a matter of perspective. Then on top of that, I realized I had decided in advance that I was going to hate it, so of course that was the perspective I was taking.
I mentally stepped back. And suddenly, I didn't hate the crowds, the noise, the pushing, and the overall chaos. I didn't love it either, but I was able to just accept it as a neutral reality.
This felt like a massive insight to me. It's a basic talking point of the Three Principles of Innate Health that we only experience the world through our thinking, and I firmly believe that and I talk about that all the time. But I don't always see it so clearly. Consciousness makes our thinking look totally, 100% real to us. I believed that I hated Purim carnivals, but that was an illusion. It was only me looking at Purim carnivals through a negative lens.
Just because I had this insight yesterday doesn't mean I'm never going to hate Purim carnivals again. I'll hate them again any time I think about them through that negative lens, because my feelings reflect my thinking. But at least I have the freedom of seeing that that's all it is--a matter of my thinking.
*I was going to give a brief explanation of Purim, but then I realized you could just Google it...